Unexplainable!!

Well, leave my blog untouch for a long time already. That is because I do not know what to scribble inside here. Sometimes when I have thing to write but the internet connection in my uni don't allowed me to do so. When I can enter here, my mind is blank.

After all my life is still the same. Not much different also. More or less the same only.

But my current feeling is really unexplainable. Is really a mix feeling. Is a feeling of anger, feeling of dissapointment, feeling of frus, feeling of sad and I AM DEFINETELY UNHAPPY!

I want to express out but I really no idea how to say it out. Really out of mind. And I am aren't sure where should I start to say. But somehow, I must stay CALM. If not I will stay crazy and I will gone flutter all the way. MUST STAY CALM and STEADY. Now only I know, I can't relax myself. I really can't. What's more when things happen. There isn't any smile but there will be a deep sad arch.

I wish things always go the same. I wish time will always stop at the moment when we happy. I wish I can cherish more each time. I wish I can appreciate more time. I wish not to argue. I wish not to start any fire on the head. I wish I can stay calm. I wish you are still mine....

There is too many wish but I am not sure will they comes thru? Will I still can have back what I wish and also I want.

I might not understand people well. I might not tolerate well with people. I might be angry for a small thing and I might even fight when I do not find things going on my way....BUT deep and cavernous in me I knew that I would not want things to go the wrong path. Sometimes I knew I am wrong but I would not know how to say sorry or am I be forgiven. I worried too much things that make me go flutter each time.

I do not want to run away from reality. I want to face it. I want to solve all kinds of problems. I want to live to the fullest. I want to be happy but I am not sure can I make it?? I really do not want to be like a tortoise that hide away or run away from problems but I am not sure whether I am good enough to handle every second things.

Lastly, things that happen is not what I wish for. I just hope for the best..hope everything will remain the same...everything goes well till the end. No changes and always the same.