Exam fever...

Oh My God...it will be going to end of semester 1 2009/2010 already and that means that I will have to face exam already. DAMN!

So much to learn and study but in a very very short time and my lazy nerve is still in my body. Really lazy and as well as tired to study...haha...BUT BUT BUT...

I need to study...I have to study...

Is a misconstrue or feelings??

Is a hard feelings...is a mix feelings...

Is a misunderstand...

I want someone to understand me,

I want someone to care about me,

I want someone to listen to me,

I want someone to share with me...

But it seems like everything seems to be a whisper off.. I really do not understand WHY? Can someone tell me why? When I thought everything seems to be fine and getting on track that time, it give me hope and strength and telling me once more everything will be fine. I will see rainbows...TRUE enough, I see rainbows...

And the days after, it disappear...It also same like rainbows that comes out after raining but disappears when the sun rise high....That is the way it does on me....When I have thought everything will be alright, suddenly everything seems not going on my path...I HATE THAT!....

People always tell me love is wonderful..and I shall say is YES..

AND I have oodles of definition about that...

Love is patient, love is kind.

It has no envy, nor it boasts itself and it is never proud.

It rejoices over the evil and is the truth seeker.

Love protects; preserves and hopes for the positive aspect of life...

Always stand steadfast in love, not fall into it.
It is like the dream of your matter of affection coming true.

BUT...

it seems like everything is opposite to me now.

It also enhances the relationship and comforts the soul..

LOVE should not be experienced and not just felt..

as the DEPTH of love cannot be measured.

But how many people that understand this??

I understand but people tends to misconcept my way of thoughts..

If this can be done easily, then you can also love easily...

And as GOD said, "Love all"

Somehow or rather,

the meaning of love will change with each different relationship and depends more on its concept of depth, versatility, and complexity.

Some say it is false and meaningless; it never exist,

because there has been many instances of hatred and brutality in relationships..

But deep in me; cavernous in me..

I believe love exist...

if we understand each other and must always remember that nobody is perfect...

BE together, share the joy and sorrow, understand each other, provide space to each other, but always be there for each others need...

AND surely love will blossom to strengthen the relationship with the matter of affection..

By this way, I hope I will always see the rainbow of my life..and I hope the tears of mine will stop dropping.......

WHY WHY WHY..

Why on earth things can go like this?
I seriously don't understand why...
can some one tell me why..

The colors start to disappear...

It was one of those moments we were both happy.. :)
that is the colors of life...

BUT...

everything seems to fade, everything seems to disappear from me..
I am afraid..
I seriously afraid, afraid of losing you, afraid of a news when history repeat..

And that's the problem with us.
We are both stubborn asses and always want to get things our way..
We both hate to be wrong and love to be right.
But that's the thing about us.
No matter what happens, we always come back for each other,
ONE MORE TIME.

I had no idea. I didn't know. I couldn't have known because it was our commitment together. Or at least I thought it was...
I was hurt..
It kills me..

What was even worst??
We don't even remember why we are fighting for?
we just being crazy with each other...
I can't sleep through the pain,
and I can't see through the pain...

No matter how much of tears have rolled down from me,
there is still pointless use..
there is still a question mark..
why you behave so..
then..
the colors start to disappear from me..
it has been dissolve away with the tears of mine...

It seems like no one bother,
no one seems to care....
is just my own problem...

Even if I was typing this,
it was the strength from the God that make me continue with my life,
turn my life from sour to sweet...
I hope I can, with the will's of GOD...