ARGHHH!!!!!
I am so so so so so so ferment in almost everything now. I do not know why. I am having a mentally and physically disquiet, ferment, distention...then I willl finally end up doing lunatic things, act idiotic...and finally doing all those psycho movement. Lastly, people will send me go "RUMAH ORANG SAKIT JIWA" and I will spend my entire life time there...GREAT!
I am seriously going crazy soon if I still cannot control myself, my emotions and my feelings. I do not know why I am so easily tensed up nowdays. A simple little thing can enough to drive me crazy. Totally enough. I am easily tensed up over my work, my life, MONEY, and every second thing that I am going through now including friendship or any relationship. Really do not know how to deal and manage it. I am a FAILURE!
The only thing that I am success is that I can easily hide from people my emotions. No one exactly know how I felt but deep down that is a deep deep bruise...
That is I am still at home and going through the start of my journey and yet I am so tensed and giving me a high encumbrance. That not include my studies yet..my workload yet...DAMN IT!
I alway keep to this phrase :
"No pain, No gain. Accept the pain, future will be fruitful. Don't feel the work you are doing is pain...BECAUSE there will be always a reason for that pain or work. SO, face the pain for the pain you face. There will definitely happiness ahead and always.. "
But I am afraid, before I have the gain, before I accept the pain and before my future to be fruitful...I am already gone crazy. Seriously I will if continue like this.
I need remedy...I really need! I need to rest from a peaceful place...
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